Week Three – Social and Support
The wi-fi at work is absolutely shocking. I had planned to get some blog posts written for the coming weeks whilst I had some free time but considering everything I do is done via the internet, the struggle is real. So, I am now using some sort of txt app to write this because even a word document needs wi-fi on a chrome laptop and I am too technologically stunted to figure out any other way to do it.
So, it’s going to be a copy and paste jobby at the end of all this.
It’s also bullet pointing everything for me which I most definitely don’t know how to stop.
So, week three of the October Self Care Challenge aka #selfcaretogether.
You may have thought I’d forgotten all about it, and some days I do. But I knew early on that my memory would struggle, as it usually does with the things I actually want to remember, so I used Anneli‘s original picture as my lock screen on my phone so it wouldn’t slip my mind as easily as I knew it could.
This week is a bit of a weird one. I’m certain I did most of the challenges along the way but not on the day they were assigned to. I mean, it was moving week, so everything was new; and a lot of the challenges (I’d read ahead) had me facing the fears I have over leaving the house and pushing myself (day 20) in general. I got through it, and I conquered a lot this week! Maybe I won’t list it this time around, and just talk about what I did and how, because it’s all in no particular order anyway.
Join me for a tea! So, this one I defintitely didn’t do. I don’t really drink tea unless it’s made by two certain people because they both make lovely cups of tea. And I feel like this could have been an online chat or something for everyone to join in but I missed the memo. This was my last full day at home home before I moved for real, so I was a little emotionally unavailable to the world.
So, Monday my last full day at home home before I was done and dusted with the move, no going back. I was emotional, still feel very unprepared for what was coming. I didn’t have a moment to reach out to a friend. I don’t believe I had a moment to even think about doing so. I should have though. I think that when you’re feeling any sort of extreme emotion you need to reach out to someone, whether that be a frien, family member, a collegue you trust or a mental health professional. Day 16 should really have been classed as a reminder to do that. Even when you don’t feel like it, in fact, especially when you don’t feel like it: because those are the times you shouldn’t isolate yourself.
Be in public. I felt the most ‘in public’ I could possibly feel today. I started my “new” job. I say new, but it’s the exact same job I did before, just in a new environement. I felt like all eyes were on me, whether that be the staff or the customers. I was the new kid and I was ever so slightly overwhelmed and terrified.
It’s Wednesday and my whole day consisted of talking to strangers. Pretty much everyone is a stranger here, I know a grand total of six other human beings. This is my life now I guess, talking to strangers. I don’t mind it. It’s actually going to be nice to leave my house without fear of bumping in to someone that once had a minor role in the story of my life. That’s one of very few things I couldn’t stand about my old town, I have a hard enough time letting go of things as it is, without bumping in to them every time I go out of my front door!
I spent time with loved ones before I left for my new home. It’s going to be hard to do that from now on. None of them are here, I’m unsure of why I did this to myself actually. I know phones exhist, and skype calls and carrier pigeons but it’s not going to be the same. I feel like I’m going to be living for the days I get to go back to my home home and see my favourite people. I know I will make new friends here but it won’t be the same. Damn eighteen year old me for drinking all of that driving lesson money; instead of getting my act together, getting a licence and making life far easier for present me. Eighteen year old me sucked!
My life is all about pushing myself recently though, so maybe present me needs to push herself in to finally getting her licence. Just saying. I mean, I’ve done pretty well this year. What with travelling alone, attending a wedding alone, attending pride and being surrounded by hoards of people for two days, moving across the country etc.. long may this continue in to 2019. This week, was just the big one, new house, new town, new job.. ya know, nothing too major!
This whole week has been about joining in conversations. I am meeting new people every single day, staff and customers alike. All of them wanting to know about me, and where I’m from, where I live now etc etc. It’s contant and for someone who runs on very little battery power when it comes to socialising, it’s also exhausting.
I feel, overall, I did really well this week when it came to conquering these challenges and being outside of my comfort zone entirely. Though I haven’t done eerything day by day as the list suggests, I’d say I pretty much covered all bases. However, in future I’m going to try harder to reach out to others and not isolate myself so much. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s that our struggles are much easier to overcome when we have someone in there with us.
Don’t forget to reach out to someone this week. Whether you’re struggling or not, you never know, they might be too afraid to reach out too and you’re initial contact could be the conversation starter they need!
Thanks for reading! B x